Random Thoughts
Random Thoughts
You know what I just realized that most of the time I really feel bad for myself. It's like someone just pierce my heart everytime I try to find solitude.
The thing is people tend to attach with me in their hour of need, most of the time this happens when they are in some kind of problem or issue. And I talk to them, really talk their hearts out, from long night talks at 3 AM morning to small text messages that the world is not over yet.
People/Friends usually compliment me with sentences like 'I am their best friend' or 'I am the best person they ever met' or that I even should become a psychatrist because I handle such situations so sensitively, while I help them to overcome their exes, resolving their issues with their mothers or brothers or even advising them to buy a goog laptop.
But after that they change.
Like they don't stop taking with me, they just change behavior wise like using only words "hmm", "haaa" or "achhaaa", they tend to avoid calling me and whenever I call them, they lack complete enthusiasm and spark, it's like someone is pointing a gun on their forehead and forcing them to talk.
Eventually I realized that it's not their problem but it's way how society works. People tend to enjoy the company of certain people for a certain point of time.
Like I am a good person to talk about science, movies, philosophy, to take notes or just someone to consolidate you or give you advices.
But I am a really bad person to have to get together, or chill in a club, or even talk about a mindless gossip.
It's just what a popular meme said
" It is what it is"
The problem lies with the image I created the first time I met them.
I was a smart student with ethics and respect towards each other obviously I was hypothetically banished from every group of college.
If I could go back to past I would have told myself to be a little more self-reliant (emotionally) coz a child who lived his entire 18 years inside books and emotionally dried parents' empty rooms,having a soulful friend for eternity is what he ever dreamed.
I wrote this at midnight emotionally drenched and psychologically beaten up.
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